Highgate Cemetary, London: 10 August 2006 .
I never thought I'd live to see the day when I was disappointed to see a Capitalist cower out of a great opportunity. And technically, you could say I didn't: I have been dead for over a hundred years after all.
To recap things, a few little months ago the world's largest domain provider was not just selling space with licentious ads, they was selling themselves out too. We was all chanting a little rhyme:
Go daddy, go daddy, go-go Go daddy :|| (repeat three times, increasing pace)
Go Daddy, Go Daddy, Go Daddy Go.
And daddy went. To be more specific, Daddy went yellow.
So why did he chicken out? Does Bob Parsons have colon cancer (that did it for the former mayor of New York)? Did Phoenix get covered by a snowstorm? Did farm rodents perform aerial Gymnastics over the skies of Wall Street?
No, market conditions were apparently "unfavourable". Well, I have something to say about all that:
Come on Bob, I was going to buy stock in you. They say Michael Moore has Halliburton, so why can't I get a piece of the action?
Anyway, Go Daddy isn't Vonage or those other monkey companies I've never heard of. Vonage is about a thousand miles behind Skype, and it's got a name that sounds like a Mediterranean illness.
If you say Vonage in a public place, the proletariat around you will either think you're swearing in Bulgarian or else someone will offer you a handkerchief.
Go Daddy is a market leader. It's the Microsoft of Domain names. And the thing we all loved about Go Daddy was that they flew in the face of convention. And then to timidly shy away like a public schoolboy, shame on you Daddy!
Come on Bobby, you still got a chance. Don't Go all Yellow, Go for it! Go Bobby Go!